Seriously, there are days like today where I wish I'd flunked out of school and earned my living as a roofer. Sure the job isn't as glamourous, the pay is about 1/2 of what I'm bringing in now, and those hot summer days aren't the most pristine when you need a cold wet cloth wrapped around your neck for 8 hours straight. But there's a certain reward I'm not feeling at the moment with my current job. Take for instance this morning's 4-hour training module on yet another business software package to streamline our data management.
Given the fact I need to work extra time tomorrow evening, added on to a previous engagement, tonight will be a 2-for-1 special. These days, I only have enough dedication to blog for a consecutive week when it concerns a matter of utmost importance. I think it's safe to say we're all thankful for a 3-day work/school week. Strike that. Who in their right mind will be working their fingers to the bone past 3pm on Wednesday? Non-Americans not included.
Before I drone on any further, I have to correct myself and mention this list isn't necessarily just made up of depravities. For instance, the first component on tonight's menu is coffee. Plain and simple. For the longest time, I abstained from this morning delicacy until my junior year of college. Now I'm pretty much an addict, save for the IV needle. It would behoove my employers to write an annual check to Juan Valdez.
Second on tonight's list is simply: pie. I hope this doesn't come as a surprise. I've always been a proponent of pie. Warm and soft with a slightly creamy taste. Well, all pies don't require a cream additive. But at the same time, it doesn't hinder the taste, either. You can safely assume I'll be face deep in pie later on this week. A decadent dessert men and women all over the world can agree on.
I'm sure this isn't an original idea by any stretch of the imagination. Hell, I'm sure throughout grade school around this time of year, teacher would always ask us to write down 5 things we're thankful for during Thanksgiving week. Now I'm not gonna bore you with the predictable answers like "family" and "good health." Boring. We know we're all thankful for the vices in our society. Remember when Donald Sutherland ("Professor Jennings") posed the question in National Lampoon's Animal House?
- "Was [John] Milton trying to tell us that being bad was more fun than being good?"
Naturally. Because vices keep us from killing ourselves once we discover we're not going to change the world. Don't misinterpret that last sentence as "Kill thy neighbor." After all, we do live in a society of "laws." No, this is, more or less, a list of vices that won't necessarily send me to jail or the gas chamber. Only Saint Peter may raise both eyebrows when he's scrolling through my book of (mis)-deeds when the time arrives.
The first on the list is alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems.
Why do I always think of these things at the last minute? M. & I will be in the city of brotherly love @ a Dead Milkmen show. *shut up, Crankypants*. I know you last saw them in the 80s. Anyways, here's the close-out to another brilliant Rocktober.
after we left kentucky, we had a killer driving day. we drove through Indiana, Illinois and Iowa in one day. it took us about 13 hours to do. we ended up passing through a time zone which was kind of discombobulating on top of the long drive! we got a motel room that night and ate at this gross diner and fell exhausted into bed.
I have this twisted obsession about, well, never mind the specifics. That's right, it's cryptic. Surprise, surprise. And if you have a problem with that, don't read any further. In fact, just leave. Anyway, this song I'm about to present to you will prolong the agony I'm already feeling. Because I love a challenge. Natch. And lastly, don't be misled by the title. It has nothing to do with fruit.
-Harry Kalas (always the voice of the Phillies)
Now here’s a pet peeve I’m sure we can all agree on: the
constant attention seeker. You know the type. And let me preference this by
using the German pronoun “seinen” when referring to he/she, since seinen
represents both genders in the plural sense. Seinen goal in life is to focus your
attention solely on them. I, on the other hand, don’t care one iota about
attention. The only reason I’m even on board for a second helping of Rocktober
is on the suggestion of an unknown associate, and nothing more. I happily obliged;
and looking back, I’m glad I received the suggestion. Thank you very much
sir/ma’am.
Moving on, after being alerted to read seinen blog once it
was completed, I met it with absolutely no enthusiasm or indignation, which ruined seinen glee. Given
seinen numerous improprieties (I’ll mention the front-runner issue in the next
paragraph), I find the need to imitate yours truly the most disturbing. After
all, isn’t imitation the sincerest form of flattery?
Flying Spagetti Monster knows I have no intention of
imitating someone else. I’m very comfortable with my own interests, no matter
how lame they may be. For instance, this deal with front-runnerism I mentioned
before. What’s the deal with that? Most folks have an allegiance to one city
when it comes to sports. Baseball – Phillies, Football – *Eagles (*officially
on boycott until Michael Vick is released*), Hockey – Flyers, Basketball – yawn…zzzzzz.
See how easy that is? But for the frontrunner, who suffers from said disorder,
they must latch onto winners and declare themselves part of the bandwagon, even
though they got on 60 stations too late. Usually the perpetrator that spawns
these lepers is the team logo. Weaklings are mesmerized by the “star” of the
Dallas Cowboys, or the navy blue Yankees cap. They people usually reside in decrepit
cities like Pittsburgh, where
everybody is a Steelers fan and nobody is a Pirates fan. Go figure, right? You’ll
find more Red Sox and Yankees hats in Pittsburgh
than you will Pirates hats. Unfortunately, I’ve been there, and I’ve witnessed
the horror.
Anyway, I have pontificated enough about seinen modus
operandi. I eagerly await seinen retaliatory “You’re the most retarded person
on the face of the Earth” comment with baited breath. All it does is point out
seinen insecurities. Oooh, and here's another one. Seinen comment must always be the last comment...always. In this case, I'll allow it to be seinen first & last.
Alright! Shall we rock? We’re only down to 5 more days. Speaking of which, my opposite number has launched a few pre-emptive artist selections I was saving for this last week. So to balance the scales, here’s my selection for October 27th. This song stayed in the basement for over 10 years (Stu Sutcliffe and Pete Best were in the band!) until the foursome not only brought it to the surface…more specifically, they brought it to the rooftop for their final farewell.
